No one’s suggesting that you get this parenting gig perfect. This isn’t the 1950’s where parents are required to have it all together. The time has passed where perfectionism is viewed as a positive character trait.
With that said, let’s take a look at a few parenting fails to avoid as a Pleasure-Seeking Parent. So, whatever you do, avoid the following at all costs.
Though what used to be looked down upon, day drinking is highly encouraged when mixed with a playdate. Pleasure-Seeking Parents all over the world are getting together to form “playdates”. This is where parents get together with other parents and share a bottle of wine or Prosecco while their little ones go play and leave them the hell alone. But beware: taking too much pleasure in your champagne can leave you with a sledgehammer to the head in the morning.
Don’t care how cute they are, pets are a Pleasure-Seeking Parenting fail. I assure you, the pet you get for your child will not be as well trained as Lassie. You heard me, a pet mixed in with your children can be a quick trip to the loony bin. Unless you don’t mind poop, pet breath, hairy floors, and pet slobber.
Like over drinking and pets, crafting with your kids is not a good idea. Repeat after me: “I Will Not Attempt To Do A Craft Off Of Pinterest With My Kids!” In fact, don’t even search for crafts on Pinterest. Keep searching for home improvement ideas. It’s far more pleasing than having a floor covered in glitter, a table smudged with paint, and a self-deflated ego because the crafts look nothing like what it does on Pinterest. Crafting is for Martha Stewart, and she doesn’t look like she’s had any pleasure for a long, long time.
Extra Curricular Activities:
Anyone seeking pleasure doesn’t sign up to run their kids all over town at all hours of the day. There’s no point in engaging your children in basketball, dance, gymnastics, soccer, theater, piano, or basketweaving if they can’t drive a car to get there themselves. Your kids are far better off with you at home relaxing in your yoga pants. Overcommitted kids lead to stressed out parents who tend to take too much pleasure in their champagne.
Find a friend who could carpool your children to and from activities. When it’s your turn to drive, bribe them with champagne in exchange for them to take over your carpooling duties.
If you’ve read this far, you’ll already guess that birthday parties for children is an absolute no-no. Decadent parties for children is a parents worst nightmare. Now, all good parents do have parties for children, but there are two ways you can do this:
- Hire it out. Pay an ungodly amount of money to have the party planned out where all you have to do is show up. There are all kinds of places that will take over the party for you. It’s worth the money. You don’t have time to Pinterest the perfect party. Plus, you are not a party planner. You are a party attender. Don’t waste precious time and energy.
- BYOB Playdate. This is very similar to a regular playdate with booze. Invite your friends who have children over for a birthday party. Be sure to include BYOB on the invitation so your friends know it’s not a Drop Off Your Child and Leave kind of party. The booze will entice the parents to stay and makes the party much more enjoyable for you.
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